Published on November 6th, 2015 | by Jessy Morrison0
Que Sera Sera… Whatever will Be, will Be!
I’ve never quite understood nostalgia. I didn’t relate to people who mourned what used to be. I seemed always to be running towards a better future, and moving away from the unpleasantness of the past. I always thought being nostalgic was a particular flavour of unprocessed grief, or something akin to homesickness, a yearning for what used to be. But now as I mourn the death of my two kitties, I realize that the emotions – grief, yearning, loss, home-sickness – are all entirely different energies, with different chemical and physiological responses.
Nostalgia is remembering things with fondness, and a light, happy energy. Having a recollection that actually transports you right back into a memory of enjoyment, of good times – beyond fads, toys, music, fashions. Nostalgia is a flashback to the unencumbered optimism and naivety of childhood, a retelling of magic and fun adventures. It is not a wistful longing for easier times; it is actually transportation back into the moment, biochemically and neurologically re-living a particular pleasant memory.
My children, now in their 20’s, remember one of our homes as idealic. It had huge floor to ceiling windows, 18 acres with a fresh water pond big enough to paddle-boat on, and swimming daily from May to October. They reminisce over skinned knees and stitches. My remembrances of that place however are very different and not pleasant. Struggling with the aftermath of divorce, I recall insufficient heating covering the windows with blankets to stop shivering, water pipes bursting, being worried I couldn’t make the rent, inability to repair things or buy my kids winter boots, or even groceries, my daughter living in and out of hospitals, and that constant feeling of not knowing how I’d get through tomorrow.
The kids had no awareness of my stress. They remember playing with each other, roaming the acres with their border collie Scruffy, sleeping with their black cat Ghost, climbing trees, playing with original Polly Pockets, Barbie dolls, GI Joe action figures, doing crafts, hikes thru fields looking for blue herons, swans on the pond, snapping turtles, tadpoles, skinny dipping, fishing, teaching their 70 year old grandmother to swim, and summers lasting all year long…
Interesting point of view! How can it get any better than that, eh?
Carl Jung said “The name you give your experience is the lens through which you perceive your world.” When the kids shared with me their nostalgic moments my old imbedded feelings of dread and previously unprocessed worries vanished. Twenty years had passed, yet I had never really let go of my angst. They gave me a new lens through which to see the past. Now, I too feel the warm glow of their rose coloured nostalgia. I totally get it!
What have I learned? To me Nostalgia is a sweet, soft, and interesting flavour of awareness. The feeling of being transported into the moment , the feeling of being in the now so completely, just as we were as children – oblivious to the bad things that can happen in the world. Totally absorbed by the pleasure and sensuality of life as it was ‘when’… It is an energy vibration that takes us back to feeling joy long since forgotten or stuffed away. Reliving that feeling of pleasure and “magic’ that we believed in when… And for a few moments I believe and re-live it again.
I enjoy remembering the feeling of being naive, uncritical, un-cynical, and very optimistic. It helps me expand my energy. How about you?
Body Talk – jessymorrison.ca